Eshin Direct

For the nth time, here are the rules for using lifts people!

1. Thou shalt not defy the laws of physics and hope that people will automagically be able to vacate the enclosed space if you crowd the only exit available.

2. Thou shalt not stand as close as you can to the other person when there are only two of you in the lift. Brownian motion should come into play here at some point – see above.

3. Thou shalt not talk as loudly as thy can on they mobile device within an enclosed, crowded space. Eh?

4. Thou shalt not repeatedly press the buttons as it is unlikely it will go any faster. The only exception is me when I’m choosing to annoy my colleagues or when you would like to see if repeated presses might actually break the lift.

5. Thou shalt not call the lift in vain when all you need to do is use those two legs the Almighty gave you when all you needed to do was climb one flight of stairs.

6. Thou shalt respect the queue even in the absence of the queue. Not knowing who was before you is not an excuse. Pretty much everyone standing there before you IS in front of you. All you need to know is who ends up behind you.

7. Thou shalt not wait for your whole department to board in dribs and drabs while you hold the lift up or carry on conversations while you are on the lift and they are grabbing their wallet/going to the bathroom/planning the next scientific breakthrough

8. Thou shalt not press the close door button when someone is obviously rushing for that lift car. At least have the courtesy to look apologetic.

9. Thou shalt not stand at the door when there is obviously space in the back of the car for you.

10. Thou shalt not stand at the door when obviously you need to disembark your sorry arse to let people out. We’re not getting anywhere and it’s not likely we’ll leave without your sorry arse. Unless you made us wait.

Tags: elevators, etiquette, humour, lifts, Random Thoughts