Eshin Direct

In a little known fact, it is believed that the Japanese successfully invaded Singapore during World War 2 by borrowing bikes and stolen taxis in Malaya to cross the causeway over into Singapore. I was joking with a colleague that if someone invaded Singapore today, oh what a different story it would be if they had to factor in Singapore taxis as part of the battle strategy.

Strategic Planning

Invading Nasty 1 (Captain): “Arrange for the men to invade using those blue and yellow contraptions!”

Invading Nasty 2 (Sergeant): “Affirmative sir!”

Dials in on 6552 1111.

“Thank you for using Comfort and City Cab, all our lines are busy…”

Tactical Execution

Invading Nasty jumps into taxi.

Invading Nasty: “Errr, I need to go to Grid 270.45… err… Amoy Street!”

Taxi Uncle: “Eh?”

Invading Nasty: “Amoy Street!”

Taxi Uncle: “Eh?”

Invading Nasty: “I said Amoy Street!”

Taxi Uncle: “Where ah? You show me la!”

Invading Nasty: “Look take this route, there’s an invasion on you know.”

Taxi Uncle: “Aiyo. That way have ERP. Expensive la.”

Invading Nasty: “Look, I need you to go this way. Or I start shooting.”

Taxi Uncle bravely ignores the immediate threat to his life and starts using a toothpick to pick out yesterday’s dinner. Eventually Cpl. Invading Nasty and Taxi Uncle reach destination.

Invading Nasty (readying his weapon for deployment): Okay, drop me here!

Taxi Uncle: Aiyo, cannot leh. No taxi stand la. Cannot.

Next year I hope to see a Blue and Yellow drive-by as part of the National Day Parade. Forget the decisive force and those that are above all, nothing comes close to those stalwart defenders of this great island nation than the men and women behind the wheel of a Nissan taxi.

Tags: humour, Random Thoughts, singapore, taxis