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Finding the Right One

Sometimes the coolest times you can have with people are nights that don’t go according to plan. I was only planning to have one drink with a mate who I hadn’t seen a lot of since she came back from holiday. Although I did only have one drink, it ended up finishing at about 2am. You know how you go into those deep conversations without realizing it or really intending it?

Well, that’s what happened last night.

I think we established that I’m picky about women but it helped me to narrow down what type of woman I’m after. I think I’m after a gal who’s strong and independent, who’s into me, herself and us (as in the relationship) in equal parts. Too much of being into one of the three parts throws the whole thing out of balance. I mean, obviously, she needs to be into me, but she also needs to be into herself to. How can I respect someone who doesn’t respect themselves, let alone love them? I think it comes down to the idea of growing. I can quite happily grow by myself and I’d need someone that I could help grow too. And being into the relationship is a no brainer too.

But if you start focusing on any one or two elements while neglecting the third, either too much into me, herself or the relationship (“We need to do everything together, honey.”), it throws the relationship out of balance and you spend your time and energy trying to regain your balance. Well, that applies for me at least. My friend, being a HK gal, told me to basically write-off a lot of the HK gals since she felt they tended to drift towards being too much into the boyfriend and the relationship, while neglecting herself.

I’d agree with her to some extent. Most of the HK gals I’ve had the chance to date have been quite clingy. Although it didn’t start off that way since I was drawn to their independent and strong nature. Once a possible relationship starts to develop, they turn from the tough, almost bitchy, gals to gooey, doe-eyed, almost sycophantic messes. This just from the girls I’ve had the privilege of knowing on a intimate level. I also seem to have a list of gals whose boyfriends treat ‘em like crap and they stick around for it and a “please, sir, can I have some more?”. That’s not to say that you should treat HK gals like crap. Lord knows once the honeyed adoration has worn off and you cross them, good luck to you, my friend.

Okay, I’ll admit, I’m stereotyping the situation a little overeagerly and as my Singaporean friend always reminds me, stereotyping is bad. Out of a city of 8 million, and a gal ratio of 4:1 (I think), I still think I’m in with a reasonable chance of finding someone. But then finding someone has never really been an issue. It’s finding the right one that’s the issue.