Eshin Direct

Yesterday was my birthday. I spent the day with a friend who had kindly taken a day off work just to spend it with me. We planned to go to Ocean Park for the day but we had a leisurely lunch instead at Thai Basil in Pacific Place. By the time we finished, it really wasn’t worth going to Ocean Park for just two hours. So we ended up having coffee in Pacific Coffee and ended up going to see 50 First Dates in the IFC. Afterwards, we met up with James and Amy for a peking duck dinner in Pacific Place where Jerry from F4 was busy promoting the latest Salvatore Ferragamo promotion. Dinner was great and the three of them treated me to dinner which wasn’t done without a fight and some rather ungainly kerfuffling with Amy.

For some reason I was feeling moody through the whole day and I couldn’t quite lay my finger on why that was for some reason. It wasn’t until much later in the evening that I realised what was making me feel strange. It dawned upon me that this was my first ever birthday away from my family, and in particular my mother. Ever since I was adopted, I can’t remember ever having spent any birthday without my mother. It seems strange but every other holiday or special occasion I have experienced separation from my family, but this was my first ever birthday without my mother being there. I believe my father did miss one or two due to work limitations, but I was always with family.

Why does this give a grown man an unsettling feeling? Surely he can handle being alone for his birthday without mommy or daddy looking after him. Actually, I’ve found my birthday means something more now for me and I hadn’t quite realised the importance of this day. Most people take it as their special day, but I think what was missing for me was the appreciation of connection. The connection to who you are and where you came from. While it is a celebration of you, the celebration is not just for you either. It is also a celebration for your parents from which you came and who have strongest power to make you feel special.

I think that was what was missing for me today and why I wasn’t feeling quite in the birthday spirit even though I knew it was a day that was unordinary. The opportunity to celebrate it with my family and in particular with my mother. Always, I would have dinner with them or there would be some celebration with them, before going off to do my own thing. It didn’t seem like a big thing at the time since I never missed it. But today, I suddenly became family-sick in that I feel I should have been there with them. They knew it too because when I spoke with them, they had the same idea that this was my first birthday away from home.

However, there were many who wished me a happy birthday and contributed to this feeling of specialness. Some even surprised me that they knew it was my birthday. I’d like to thank all who did. I especially appreciate that my friend spent the day with me and although I’m not quite sure she noticed my mood swings, put up with them nonetheless. She made a huge effort and it wasn’t a small gesture on her part (hey, leave days in HK are very few and thus valuable). It certainly helped a long way to improve a day where I hadn’t realised quite how much I would miss my parents. To you, and you know who you are, thank you.