March 29, 2004 B’day Politics
Just heard from a friend that they won’t come to my birthday because other people might be there that they don’t want to socialize with. I guess it’s in their right to do so but it’s a little disappointing.
When I was at university, inter-group politics seemed to be more important than studying so it was a common situation. My principle, though, has always been that if you are friends with someone, I always went to their birthday no matter who was there. Just a form of respect and always that even if you were there with people you didn’t like, the reason why you were there was for the friends whose birthday it was, so you didn’t cause waves and problems.
Anyway, it’s a small thing but just a disappointing and I can’t help but feel let down.
- 11 comments
- Posted under Diary
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Oooo
said
what do you want for your bday present? dun try asking for the impossible ay !
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Yan
said
Wow. Your friends don’t like each other THAT badly?? I never had that. Well, once in my leaving do in LA it nearly happenned. My friend Ellen had ended up sleeping with my friend Dave, who was on and off for a year or two sleeping with John and that Ali being John’s best friend decided he wasn’t going to see Dave because he is a fuckwit for doing that. And then Dave decided if it was going to upset John, then he shouldn’t come and of course then Ellen didn’t want to upset anyone and then didn’t come and John was my best friend and of course he had piority. I then spent the day calling everyone up insisting that this was stupid and that we are all grown ups and these things happen and we all should put it all down because I was leaving and we were all best friends still etc.etc. and EVERYONE turned up. And we all bonded and grouped hugged and in the end all of us stayed late and hung out. I still make them all hang out together when I am back in LA. Even Dave and Ellen who have since broken up in a pretty bad way.
No fear. Eshin, I will come and I will put down any dislike of anyone and keep it to myself and be a good guest.
Yan
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Yan
said
I also want to add that my ex-boyfriend and my current boyfriend at the time also both turned up and they both shook hands, and had a drink together, and were all cool.
I am not saying this to rub that I have different friends of anything. I am just saying that for whatever reasons I agree that your friends need to put it down and be mature about their personal feelings because it’s your birthday and it’s your day.
Yan
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Eshin
said
Yeah. Birthdays for me were always sancrosanct for the people whose birthday it is. A sort of a “neutral” environment where you put down your grievances for the person who is your friend.
As far as I know, the reasons for this aren’t as grave as that but I don’t know. It just seems to be a matter of like/dislike. Whatever.
I just feel that you friends with someone it is okay to say that you are uncomfortable with being there but still turn up. It shows that you respect and appreciate the friendship between you.
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Eshin
said
Oooo, you run an online gift shop lah…what a silly question!!!!
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GC
said
Mmm…. inter-group politics…interesting stuff really but like always, I prefer to sit by the fence and not bother myself with it.
As for not turning up to someone’s B’day party because of that I feel it is rather rude of that person. The person should at least stop by to wish the birthday boy/girl a Happy B’day. It is common courtesy and respect.
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Oooo
said
Eshin, you invited yan and not giles..how could you ….
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Oooo
said
Hope its not becos someone just call him a fuckwit…
btw, I think thats really rude to brand a person in this way… ever consider how ppl would feel. I support free speech but I dun support name calling.
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Giles
said
Haha, it’s because she called me a fuckwit that he invited her!
It’s ok Ora, I don’t really know what a fuckwit is. I don’t want this Free Speech to drag on like the HK Blog thing, so Yan I forgive you – end.
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Eshin
said
I already have one problem with my birthday already, Oooo. I don’t need you to stir up more. Thanks.
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Eshin
said
GC, I’m aware of your famous sitting on the fence on just about everything!
Didn’t we have to turn up places knowing that we’d be in shit just because it was some person’s birthday? Well, me at least…you were always Switzerland!