February 28th, 2004 by Eshin
You know that you have a dumb client when you have a person who should be smarter asking to do something that is less smart and some one is working for them who should know better. Apparently this person wants to put a link from their .org domain name to their .com domain which should mirror the .org. In fact, the .com one wasn’t even updated because everyone pointed to the .org. But it’s like putting a link on yahoo.com to point to yahoo.org.
Stupid Person 1 is pushing for this to happen. It makes that person look smarter. Stupid Person 2 should know better.
I will be happy to say good bye to this project. In all fairness, I did a lousy job of hand holding the client through this process and my ambitions for this project were perhaps too high. I guess after putting in an initial round of allnighters on this project and getting very little appreciation for that work, I lost my faith on that project. The lesson I’ve learned from this is that you should never do any work for free. People just don’t value and respect the work that you do and you have no incentive to put up with their shit if things go rocky. Pride in your work, I hear some of you say, but pride doesn’t pay the rent.
I think I know now why web designers are paid so much. It’s because there is a populace out there that doesn’t quite get it and thinks that websites just spring up magically online. The fall out of an insta-click lifestyle is that sometimes people don’t quite have the patience to do something properly - insta-online, insta-strategies, insta-community.
February 27th, 2004 by Eshin
Okay, I promised Eyal that I’d do a politically orientated anti-American post so that he could feed off it and post some interesting facts and figures for me to rearrange my thinking on the whole Iraqi occupation. Basically, I have nothing to offer him at the moment, since I’m clean out of any commentary that would seem intelligent beyond the usual Empire bashing jingoism.
But here goes anyway.
Here’s some fun statistics for you (apparently a little out of date though) - Iraqometer. Presented in a fun, colourful way. Remember kids, don’t wage war without proper adult supervision or Donald Rumsfeld.
And this one is from a new blog I’ve discovered (well, it’s not new, but my discovery is). This one’s from Flying Yangban. Now if all coalition forces are this hot, then sign me up for liberation!
On a more a serious note, if you want to keep up with the actual casualties happening in Iraq (up to date I believe), then this site provides all the info.
February 27th, 2004 by Eshin
“Making a thousand friends a year, is not a miracle. The miracle is to have a friend who stands by you for a thousand reasons.” (Sent to me by Eve, who I deeply treaure)
It’s late in the morning and I’m sitting pondering life’s more substantial issues. It’s the time that makes or breaks a day or an evening. The period from 3 to 4 sees you either crash and burn or continue to find reservoirs of energy to last till dawn and beyond. For example, you either stagger home drunk, stinking of a kebab or hot dog, or, in HK, you find Drop or karaoke. Alternatively, if you’ve done an alnighter, you either succumb to the calls of your bed or you bravely switch on the kettle with a “sleep is my enemy” gung-ho approach.
And what, pray tell, have I been pondering at such a late hour? Well, this New Year’s resolution, both Chinese and Western, was to find again that strength within me before I came to Hong Kong.
A strength that was slowly lost as I realized my actual role within the company that hired me.
A strength that was lost when I knew my parents were in NY during 911 and there was not much that I could do for them.
A strength that was lost as close friends started to drift.
A strength that was lost as I became the untermensche in an alien environment when for so long I had been the top dog in familiar surroundings.
A strength that was lost when I learned that my arrogant and moralistic ideals could often do more harm than good.
A strength that was lost when I prayed to my God and He answered, and when I pushed further, He no longer indulged my petty beseechings.
A strength that was lost when Louisa showed me that love existed again and that it was not destined for me.
A strength that was lost when my ended relationship with Eve, the woman who I should have loved and treasured, showed me how truly shallow I had become.
A strength that was lost when my job was taken from me.
A strength that was lost when my parents moved from my family home in London and returned to their home in the Netherlands, leaving me with no real roots anywhere.
All that was secure was slowly eroded away till what was left was the shadow of the man that first stepped aboard that CX flight to Hong Kong. It was often times a man who I despised within myself yet had become all too familiar. My hurt fueled my actions, my thoughts, my desperations, my insecurities. It threatened to kill me emotionally, and damned well near succeeded physically.
But CNY brought a change in me. Louisa hated me and no longer wanted contact with me. She severed that contact on CNY eve and I desperately wrote a letter to her to save the situation. I went to Tuen Mun to deliver that letter, pathetic as it may sound, and I knew that it was the actions of someone who had let themselves fall into weakness. I never delivered that letter. I managed to reach out to people for that helping hand to make me regain my strength.
Ora, who I spar verbally with at any opportunity and who speaks her mind no matter how painful, was the first person I reached out to. She set my mind out on the right path to seeking what I truly wanted to accomplish. At the time, I did not know but the words and the thoughts were planted there.
Amy, who I asked for directions to get to the destination in Tuen Mun, was the second person. She showed me that the power is within you to be stronger. Despite knowing my fool’s mission, she helped me anyway and trusted that I would have the strength to do the right thing. She reminded me that truly you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t force it to drink. At the end of the day, the decision would rest with me, and she would be as supportive as she could be in her capacity as a friend. Lessons were learned not only on that day but in talks before with her.
James, who reminds me of my mother (and it’s not just his pretty looks), was the third person. He advised me to wait with delivering that letter and even if I felt like delivering that letter a week later, I still could do so. But he didn’t think it was the right thing to do. From him, I’ve learned that the strength I now have is as much about discipline over yourself as it about learning about that strength.
But as I write this, I know that while it was on that day that these three helped me to stabilize my life, that others too have helped over the course of the dark places that I have been.
Eyal, who has always had a cold objective look at the world and smiles back at it, helped me at some the darker moments of it all.
Hilary, who has put up with a lot from me, demonstrated to me the suffrage of friendship. She has put with so much of my crap while dealing with her own at the same time.
Greg, who has taken so much from me over the years and whose friendship I have put through some of the toughest tests, has always stood by me. He’s demonstrated that even friends do err and can make things right.
Sharon, whose own troubled experiences, has forced me to reflect on issues that I would rather not deal with.
While I’m not going to list all my friends here who have all contributed what they can in their own way, there are many out there who know what they have done and how they have affected my life.
And so before the computer sits a changed man. A man who has learned that the strength in your life is yours and yours alone. I have realized that the only power that people have over you is the power that you let them have. My strength faded because I let it fade and while circumstances continue to develop to try and test you, at the end of the day, it is you who must live with that and wake up each morning either loving yourself or hating yourself.
I have learned that if someone hurts you through love, then it is only because you have given them such power to do so. Louisa, your name will be spoken now, as if it were common place. No longer will you be referred to as Her or the one that got away. You had that power to make me feel pain and loss but I realized I, myself, gave you those tools.
I have learned that things only have power over you because people give them that power. My home in London will always be cherished but it will no longer be looked at with regret and loss. Childhood memories I will always keep but material possessions are always replaceable.
No more shall I let people use me and take advantage of me. They have done so in the past because I have let them do that. I can blame them for failing me, but in reality, I have failed to recognize my own faults and rectify them. Faithfulness and loyalty are admirable traits, but maybe it was I who failed to excel, choosing to survive instead.
I am far from strong now but I am on the path to rediscovering that which made me strong before. No longer will I let those things and people that induce negativity within me be the master of my emotions. Although they may have been the stimulus, I created those emotions within me. No one or thing else.
Will it be a path to being uncaring and cold? No, it is the path to discipline. If the premise for my new found strength is that you only let do unto you what you let do unto you then it is a two way door. It is a discipline to block out the negativity while letting in those people that will give you that positivity. Opening the door to the power of positivity that people give you is about opening up to people. Can they hurt you? Yes, it is always a risk and even an eventuality. But they can offer you so much more if you let them. Discipline of the mind, emotion, and body can work to strengthen you.
So to ALL my friends and family, past, present, and future, I would like to thank you. And please be patient while I grow into the man that you deserve to call friend and family.
February 26th, 2004 by Eshin
Oh, I had the joy of losing my wallet yesterday. Not a pleasant experience since I spent most of last night running around from Pacific Place to Admiralty MTR to Central Police Station, trying to report it stolen. I thought I lost it in Starbuck’s when they threw us out (we were the last people to leave) but I wasn’t sure. So after pacing around Pacific Place, PP1, and the MTR station, I decided to go home. Only in the cab did I realize that I lost my wallet and thankfully I had some cash to pay the guy with.
So after freaking some time, I went and cancelled all my credit cards, including the ones from back home. Makes such a difference between the HK card companies and the UK companies. The HK banks were almost interrogating me, as if I was defrauding them or something. The UK bank was more helpful - “Sir, would you like me to check whether there is any activity on that card already?”. Wow. Yes please, and a bottle of your finest while you are at it.
Well, after that, I buggered off to report it lost to Pacific Place and the police. Which is a bugger cause my HKID was in there too. I had to borrow some money of my mate, Hilary, who was kind enough to lend me 500 bucks to last me till I have access to my funds. Ended up reporting the loss to the Central police station. Which proved to be a mistake, since…
The next day, I called Starbuck’s up only for them to tell me that someone had delivered it to them the night before. Only they had done it at Wan Chai Police Station. Well… what can I say? Gawd bless the chappies and ladettes down at Starbuck’s! Unfortunately now I can’t slag it off anymore but it goes to show there are some honest people still in the world. And would you know, the 200 bucks cash that was in there, still was today. I might give it the person who bothered to go down to Wan Chai to drop it off there for safe keeping. I had written it off anyway. Of course, when I get hold of my funds again.
Anyway, got the wallet back and still strapped for money since all my cards are cancelled. Well, my folks are helping out with some of the logistics of me having severed all my connections with everything. My grandma, God-bless her, when she heard asked me for my address and offered to send me money. Damn…that was nice of her. Of course, I told her thanks but I couldn’t.
February 25th, 2004 by Eshin
What have I been busy with these last few weeks? Well, not much really. But I’ve been setting up my new site - Valdegaard.com. It’s basically to cater to my interest in fantasy and creative roleplaying (i.e. elves and dwarves a la LOTR style NOT dressing up in fetish clothing). It feeds into my two great passions - writing and playing RPG’s NWN. The main section is a book that I have inside me. I decided to serialize it so that I can constantly review it and break it down into workable chunks. I also figured that I’ll never get published anyway since I’m not good enough for that. Anyway, for those interested, take a look.
