Eshin Direct

A view on 2009 and here’s to 2010

Happy new year to one and all. Of course, as I write this, it is still not New Year yet where I am but for most of the folks that I know in Asia, it will have just passed.

So, as another year closes and a new one opens up in front of me, I am in the mood for both reflection and goal-setting, something that surrounding yourself with cold weather and the drearily sunless skies of winter Europe lend themselves well to.

What were the highlights of 2009 for me? Broadly speaking, it was a good year on all fronts. Professionally, I survived a tumulteous year at a company inevitably adapting itself to the prevailing financial climate. Naturally, when my appraisals come around as the first points of order next week, I will not only have survived but excelled at surviving. I do, of course, work in marketing.

On the financial front, I have happily met the financial goals that I set for myself at the start of 2009. I have finally learnt the importance of financial discipline and the comfort that it breeds in leading a secure lifestyle. It hasn’t been an easy road and support has been there from friends and family, and not just in the financial sense. If I had to name this year on purely financial grounds, I would have to say that this was the year of the ham sandwich, the every present symbol of my new found financial discipline. My suffering colleagues can serve as testament to this.

Family has been a mixed bag this year. While there were no new additions and thankfully no losses, my father’s health is beginning to become a concern. As an expat over 5,000 miles away, I can insulate myself from it to some degree but I do get to see the more pronounced effects of ageing at longer but regular snapshots. These snapshots never used to change but now it seems there is a new picture every 3 to 6 months. I suppose it is just about getting used to it and dealing with it and I forget sometimes that my father is pushing 80. If I looked and functioned that well at 80, I would be a happy bunny. The last kick in the teeth that 2009 had to offer was a stroke that hospitalised my grandmother. Thankfully, I’ve had the chance to visit her in hospital during this visit.

Most of my family continues to progress well. I was shocked to find neice’s newborn had developed nicely into a 2 year-old personality in my absence. I dread to think what my other niece and nephew have grown into after not having seen them for too long. One regret for 2009 was that I didn’t take more time to visit them while I was in the UK earlier. Some highlights for next year will be my father’s 80th birthday and its subsequent family reunion. My own plans for family will also progress somewhat further and my uncle is making a landmark visit back to the homeland after not having left Australia for more than 25 or so years.

Personally, I’ve made some new friends and reforged some old friendships that should never have lost their lustre. I am happily attended my friend Bobble’s wedding as an usher in September. I am sure there was no real position of usher in the Jewish context but I was grateful that there was a small part for me to play in his marriage. Board Boy welcomed a baby boy to his family and his own pride. Bible Boy and his wife gave birth to their first born and regretfully had a fretful first two months as the poor girl had to undertake major surgery.

I’ve had the chance to learn one new skill this year – first aid. This training came courtesy of my company and it is something that I’ve always thought was important. I’ve even suggested that my mother learn the same course so she know’s important things about CPR in case something happens to my father.
Health-wise, I’m sure that Mrs. Eshin will undoubtedly dispute my prognosis of it being a good year, so far be it for me to be as brave as to contradict this. Right now, as I type, I have a belly happily pushing itself to the limits of its natural boundaries that would agree with her. I’ve only fallen seriously sick once this year – with the dreaded H1N1 flu. My t-shirt does say, “I survived H1N1, but the tamiflu nearly killed me.”

Being sick, and having a survival workload meant that my training has remained sporadic but not without its own gustos of enthusiasm. It was quite an accomplishment for me to have taken part in this year’s Aviva Ironman 70.3 Singapore 2009. I took part in the Corporate Challenge component which saw me doing only the swimming. That in itself, at least for me, was an accomplishment – 1.9km in the open sea is no small feat for a coach potato. I suppose now is as good a time as any to set the record straight as some newspaper report erroneously that I am a triathlete. I am no such thing and it would be unfair for me to claim such a title. What taking part in the Ironman has done for me in some small way,is that it has galvanised my fitness routine and I have taken up running and swimming as a regular activity. By March, I hope to improve on my swim time at the 2010 Aviva Ironman and by May, I want also to have run a half marathon in a respectable time.

So what else does 2010 hold in store for me and what do I want to accomplish? Well, apart from the goals that I’ve already discussed, I’m looking for a charity that I can actively support and contribute to. I’m still trying to find a worthwhile cause that resonates with me but hope to have something soon. I’d like to continue learning something, even if it is one thing. Vague goals to be sure but then again, I always feel it best to keep the important ones personal and needless to say, I have set those already. It’s also less embarrassing when once I read this post next year at the same time, with the potential for disappointment at not having done what I set out to do. This way I can be pleasantly surprised.

Happy 2010 and stay safe wherever you may be.

A Matter of Courage

A pretty dilemma presented itself today when I got back to my bike. A guy was on his bike having a heated argument with his girlfriend (or wife) who was standing off to the side. They both seemed quite riled up with each other so I hung about for a bit to see if it escalated. A noble but in retrospect stupid idea, as I wasn’t really sure whether I wanted to get involved.

As it did. The guy stopped his engine, nearly dropping his bike as he stormed towards the woman. He started grappling with the woman’s helmet while she was shrieking at him in tears. What had me a little nervous was that he wanted to take the helmet off because he wanted to take a swing at her. He eventually got it off but all he ended up doing was gripping her wrists while she raised shrieking hell at him. This continued for a few minutes.

I started my engine in any case and put my helmet on. Would I step in at some point? If I did, I wanted my helmet on. It didn’t provide body protection but I was hoping that in the heat of an argument, an inexperienced and hot-headed aggressor would go for the head rather than body shots. I also took the liberty of checking my utility knife but put it away as it very literally would have been overkill and it could always be used against you.

I kept checking the couple as they were arguing. The woman kept looking at me to intervene.

I really, really didn’t want to get involved truth be told. I wasn’t that brave to stick my kneck out like that. So I didn’t. I felt a little cowardly for not jumping to her defence and I could feel the adrenaline coursing through my body, prepping me for an evitable fight or flee response. By not jumping in, it was the right choice I realise with hindset.

Why was it the right decision? Well, the guy was obviously agitated. I believe on some primal level that men do know it is wrong to do violence against women. Myself stepping in would have provided him with a legitimate target to vent his anger on. A man in argument with his spouse invariably does not like the intervention of another man on what he views as his territory. Of course, then all hell would have broken loose and I would have tried to hurt him back. Lover’s tiffs can go either way – the woman could decide to loose it with the guy or with me equally.

He did look back a few times to see what I was doing. He even asked, “Can I help you?”. I just looked at him neutrally. I just sat on my bike and waited.

I hung around longer than I would have on my bike while it idled. I checked whether VivoCity had a website with a telephone number for security. Of course, wanting to provide the most rich and rewarding experience to shoppers, it didn’t have a normal HTML site for browsing on my iPhone. Not even the contact us page had a useful non-flash version to get a telephone number. Thanks Vivo!

Anyway, after waiting about ten minutes, I checked again and the couple seemed to have calmed down. It had blown itself out with the woman free and the guy smoking a cigarette which I took as a good sign since smoking is a habit to calm nerves. The woman could, if she wanted to, have walked away from him. I decided to leave them to their own devices as they were near a very busy main entrance to VivoCity in any case.

Was I a coward to not have stormed in there and been noble by sticking my neck into someone else’s business? I admit, I do feel a certain shame by not having done anything and leaving the situation, essentially declaring it someone else’s problem. But I do think that my presence and proximity to the situation, and refusing to leave at the argument’s height and even in the face of his challenge to me, reminded the guy that there were consequences to every action. Violence was not a viable option for him.

And I’m reasonably sure that all three of us are now safely at home without incident. Perhaps not happily but at least safely.

You be the judge.

Tastes of Childhood

We decided to be adventurous and took a trip to Kranji. It’s a small place in the northwest of Singapore and is home to mainly farmlands. We’re staying in what they call a resort farm. Anyway, despite the absence of bug repellant, we had a nice meal at the only restaurant on the resort (I use the term loosely).

It was fun partly because of the joy that Mrs. Eshin gets from good food and especially so when it reminds her of her childhood. So after a healthy dose of steamed “Sauna” prawns, water spinach with thousand year egg, and expat fried rice, she asks me, “So, what dishes do you remember from childhood?”

I’ll be honest and say that it took me some time to answer, which isn’t really fair to my mother. And I’m still thinking of the answer as I write this post. But here are some candidates that came to mind then and now.

Putt i Panna. This was something that my mother picked up from Sweden when my parents were based there. It literally means “tidbits in a pan” and can be made with any leftovers readily available. My mother’s putt i panna was made invariably with bacon, diced potatoes, caramelized onions and braised steak so tender it crumbled into the dish more often than not. The braising took a couple of hours but the smell just permeated the whole household, announcing that the family was in for a treat that evening.

Yeung Chow Fried Rice. Another of my favourite dishes that had a unique smell to it was my mother’s fried rice. Our time in Singapore over thirty years ago exposed her to a lifelong passion for Asian food. As a result she came back with a recipe for fried rice that was evidently a take on yeung chow fried rice or expat fried rice. Hers was made from a fragrant basmati rice, the freshest spring onions, peas, and diced chicken. I think it had prawns as well that were often taken out by me. The point was that the basmati rice heralded this great dish before anything else had even been prepared.

Pancakes. To be accurate, my mother didn’t really cook this dish so much as she used it as a fun way to engage her son in cooking. It sort of worked as I still remember it as being a fond childhood memory. She was more responsible for the preparation of the batter that makes a good Dutch pannekoek. A pannekoek is a halfway house between a French crépe and an American pancake, and tastes a damned side better. A versatile creature, it could be eaten with bacon, or raisins, or chocolate spread. Yummy.

Of course there is a whole load more memories of home cooking that I could recall if I had a cookbook to write. My mother makes handsdown the best steaks in the world but then that answer would have deprived my girlfriend of a far more interesting answer.

Affirmation Revisited

Ten years ago, Savage Garden released the song Affirmation and the statements it contained resonated strongly with me. I listened to it recently while I was training and released that maybe ten years further on in my life, it might be fun to revisit those lyrics and see if they still held their relevance and meaning for me.

I believe the sun should never set upon an argument

This I still believe. In most cases I will need to have the nastiness sorted out by the time I sleep. That’s not to say I can’t sleep on an argument, but it’s a real pain to getting on with life if it does happen that way.

I believe we place our happiness in other people’s hands

This I no longer believe. Our happiness is firmly within our own hands. We need to be comfortable with ourselves and build our own internal happiness before we can add the happiness that others bring to our lives to that foundation. If other people control our happiness, then ultimately you have no control over your life.

I believe that junk food tastes so good because it’s bad for you

Not really sure what I believe on this. Actually, it’s probably a little true since the fast food chains spend millions to work out the correct taste that can be franchised to appeal to our taste buds. Having said that, there are some theories that suggest that if you limit your diet to specific foods, your appetite begins to “expect less” and not crave some types of food.

I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do

Yup, still believe this, at least in my case. Although I don’t believe this should apply to everyone.

I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem

I used to believe this but I’m not sure about this now. So many choices of magazines out there, appealing to so many styles, there is bound to be a magazine or style that appeals to someone to make them feel “in”. Esteem comes from within, but then if you believed that happiness comes from without, then this statement might be a little more true.

I believe I’m loved when I’m completely by myself alone

Well, you have to love yourself to be true to yourself. So I suppose this still applies.

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned

Of course, this is what Karma is all about. Sort of the definition of karma really.

I believe you can’t appreciate real love ’til you’ve been burned

Most definitely.

I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side

A nice hippy attitude to life that oddly enough maintains the status quo. In some cases, it is actually greener and you need to progress. In other cases, you make it to the other side and the grass is greener until it gets to the state that you were in before. The question then becomes a matter of whether you want to make the effort to get to the other side, with that knowledge.

I believe you don’t know what you’ve got until you say goodbye

Hmm. Tough one. Nope, no longer believe that. I think if you’ve lost enough, then you can learn and appreciate things before you actually lose them.

I believe you can’t control or choose your sexuality

I don’t think you can control your sexuality. You can choose to override your sexuality and like either men or women. If we can override our natural instincts to jump into flaming buildings to save someone else, we can choose something as simple as sexuality.

I believe that trust is more important than monogamy

Yes, trust is. But really, what exactly is this statement saying? As long as you have trust you can be polygamous?

I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul

Awww, that’s sweet.

I believe that family is worth more than money or gold

Yes, but without money or gold or financial security, you won’t be able to provide for your family.

I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair

Why is the struggle for financial freedom unfair? Life is sort of unfair in any case, but is the struggle unfair or financial freedom unfair? Actually, its pretty simple. I think most of us set ourselves up for failure in the struggle for financial freedom by applying for our first credit card.

I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires

I sort of disagree with the above statement but I’m sort of not a millionaire.

I believe forgiveness is the key to your own happiness

Not really. Forgiveness is nice. Being at peace with yourself is the key to your own happiness. Again, this statement is looking for the external factor to provide that happiness.

I believe that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed

But of course, newly wedded couples are notorious for not actually consummating the marriage by actually undressing.

I believe that God does not endorse tv evangelists

I don’t think God endorses any religion to be honest.

I believe in love surviving death into eternity

It’s a romantic notion.

It’s strange what we believe when we are younger and what age and experience teaches us. I wonder what I will believe in ten years when I read this post again?

Hot Bod anyone?

I was somewhat amused that my PR agency felt I had the right stuff to appear in the Hot Bods section of the Sunday Times. My boss evidently wanted to whore me out for the experience but even I know I shouldn’t inflict that on millions of Singaporeans.

Actually, it also requires a training programme to explain why I’ve qualified to suffer Singapore with my physique. Given that the last two days saw me recuperating after my fastest pace on Friday, I doubt my routine would be of interest to anyone.

My colleagues, bless ‘em, can rest easy now.